My Blabber Side


Feeling complicated today. Both sadness, sorrow, happiness, euforia, melanchony, my heart break and light in the same time. I want to cry but don’t know why I can’t shed even a single tears. How should be I named this? IRONIC.

Now I know that some progress called “Grown Up” is an endless thing. Grown up is not only a change in your body but also in mind. People’s mind are changed everytime. Both to be better or worst. Even that you’re in some twenty to thirty that you’ve been called “adult”, it doesn’t mean that you’ve stop growing up. And along with that progress, there’s must be a changes.

There’s a time when you’re used to something and don’t want everything changed but of all the sudden you have to face a new thing, some big change for you. So you can’t stop the feeling that something has lost in you, seized by someone you don’t know.

Please help me Ya Allah, I feel so lost…

PS: Feel like painting so I drop in bookstore to buy something to paint today.

I bought 40×40 big canvas. First time I use Phoenix, I usually use Emerald because of the high quality of canvas but my money has no choice so I choose one lower grade of quality. Seems not bad though.

Phoenix Canvas
Phoenix Canvas

And I bought my very first palette knife!!!


I want to paint white roses with black background and outline.
Does it mean that my heart currently that paradox of black and white? Of darkness and light?


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