My Blabber Side · My Chaotic Philosophy

About the Bigger Frame of the Sight

The December almost over, that’s mean the current year almost over too. Yet I didn’t really had a time to thinking too much, as the previous year. But I tried to take my time to evaluate. Haha, yap, annual evaluation.

I always had this list of 100 hope (which still reach the number of 94, not 100 yet) and 2014 mission in my phone notes. When I start to counting and crossing the number that has been accomplished, apparently I’m not reach a fantastic number. Quite similar with the previous year, I think.

But then I realized, it’s not that I doin’ this year bad. In fact, my biggest achievement is not written there. I just realized that we are somehow thinking so narrow and shallow yet sometimes we forgot the essentials part of what success, actually. So, yes, I’m not crossing wonderful numbers in the end, but what I’ve got is even further. Learning how to socializing, how to be a leader, how to dealing with anxiety and frustrations, how to value the most precious things, experienced many new things, thinking out of the box, switching between this side and that side, is just a few of what I really got.

Time always show us many new things, either good or bad. Time always be the one who upgraded us. In the end, we’ll thanks the time because of the wiser, maturer, better, improved self of us. It’s so painful, so hurt, but along with pain and hurt, there’s always come a new learning. A steel cannot be sword if it’s not forged in the process.

I think I’ve had made the most of me this year. I will never left this year with a regret.
Thank You Ya Allah. 2014 is hard, probably the hardest year where I have to face the hardest phase of my life, but it’s full blessing.

Thank You Ya Allah for You taught me and take care of me well.. I’m so grateful.

lately I’ve been listening to this song. I need calm and quiet closing for this year, thus this is a perfect soundtrack.

Thank you for everything, guys. Take care πŸ™‚

My Artist Side · My Photography Junkie

Back to Nature

During the vacation of the campus organization member, grateful that we went to some interesting places with interesting view so I can tried LeRossΒ (it’s the shorten of Le Rossignol, my analog SLR camera, in case you don’t know) as possible I could

I was actually use expired color films (because I don’t want to take the risk since I’ve never load and unload film into analog camera before and that’s the best choice I have since expired films is cheap) so I kind of worried if the results is something different that I expected (in a bad way).

Then after load and unload it successfully (thanks God!), I make it into two rolls and I have to bring it to be scanned (one-of-a-few scan studio apparently located just a few meters from my campus! Yay!). And yes! It’s apparently working! And the fact that expired films not make any breaks into my pictures, I’m so both excited and relieved! XD

Well, from 36 exposures each film, which is mean I supposed to have nearly 72 photo results, it’s actually not that much, hehe. Still too many things to be learned. I have to learn how to approximate the distance to adjust the right focus, and to estimate the lighting to adjust the right ISO and similars.

But hey, I just learned one thing. In this instant era, where everything seems to be easier and digitalized, people who use digital camera can take as many photos as they want, and preview it on the LCD and erase it and take another photo, but since you cannot do that with Analog camera, we tought to be appreciated everything more. The moment, the time, the frame, the process, the trial, the value, and the money, of course, since analog photography is not instantly cheap.

Anyway, I just love the tone of the photos ❀


Ps: All photos taken with RICOH F50 with Fuji Superia 200 by ne, so a full credits would be nice if you happen to use it somewhere πŸ™‚

My BEM-J SIde · My Blabber Side

The Darker Side of the Life

It was a hard, hard tiring week. Really. Too hard that I wonder how I passed it alive. It’s magic.

And before I know, everything would be over soon. No, I’m not talking about the year. Yeah, current year will be over soon too, but I’m talking about my real life. some phase that I’m used will be over just in, maybe, a few days, or few weeks, but soon it will be.

I will face my final paper soon by the early of next year and our period of campus organization will end just a few days later, and I feel like “Oh, finally, finally…” but in the same time, I’m scared. Too scared of everything I really sure before wouldn’t mean to be. I’m scared I’ve changed too much. I’m scared I’m not made up my mind. I’m scared that I’m… lost.

Tell me the truth, am I just suffer an anxiety disorder?

By the way, starting tommorow, I have to go on an anual 3-nights-sleepover event in Puncak with BEM-J and DPM-J mates. Yep, I feel worst almost all the time, I think I really need vacation. Guess what, I will bring my Le Rossignol too β™₯

My Blabber Side · My Photography Junkie

Energy Infusion: Needed

I can’t nearly think about anything. I don’t even have anything on my mind about what to post here. So many things happen and to do one after another, like and endless act of the drama, that I keep telling myself “Breath, Oka, breath.”

If I happen to get a rest day, I most likely doing some exciting but not mind-using activities such like watching TV or watching youtube or scroll the instagram or dip in the warm tea or coffee or simply daydreaming. And I can never sleep early either! In the middle of your rush days, don’t you ever feel that sleep just reducing your me-time? Okay, other may take sleep as one of me-time essential part, but, for me, there’s sooo many me-time activities that more more more exciting such like drawing, or singing, or taking artsy-wanna-be-but-failed pictures, or so on. If I take a nap or sleep earlier than do those things instead, I feel like wasting my precious time!

However, because of that my body regularism is ERROR. Even the doctor cannot solve it! Haha! I know, I know, it’s time to do some self medication…with a lots of tea.

PS: Anyway, I always love taking some deep conversation about general knowledge. World apparently so so wide, don’t you think? So the more you gain more knowledge, the more you realize that you know absolutely nothing.

PS again: I’m just soooo into analog camera nowadays (Okay, blame Instagram!!) and I even got my secondhand SLR analog camera already! RICOH F-50! I know nothing about photography especially the analog one (My childhood photos all credits to FUJINON and RICOH analog cameras but I’m grow up using digicam 😦 ) so if you happen to know more or simply have the same interest, come lets sharing here πŸ˜€

Please meet my beautiful baby boy: Le Rossignol β™₯β™₯β™₯