Life became so weird lately.
I used to be an independent person. A free soul. A strict and loyal fellows of independency. Friends and people around me knows very well that nothing I hate more than prohibitations and rules. I more likely be a rule breaker towards many things.
I used to think “Why this way and not that way?”, “Why we have to this? Why not that?”, “Why we only allowed to this and prohibited to do that?”, “Why the certain environment only permit their own norms, and bashing other’s?”,
“Why deliberacy seems like a obvious lie? It never happens.”
But now just think of it, I realized that I’m such a snob and childish.
Life has its gameplay. There are rules and limits and constraints to guide us, to lead us, for us to obey. Even if humans are not making laws, naturally life has its laws, sometimes ones that human itself cannot against.
You can’t carelessly walkout from the border of allowance that had been made, because every single thing you do, even the smallest things, basically affect others. Whether if you aware of it or not.
There are rules of everything in life.
And basically, freedom is merely a delusional thing.
Now what am I supposed to do when I feel like burst in cries hysterically?
It such a terrible heartcrush in my love life.
And my final paper seems likely has no future.
And in this last college semester when everyone seems has plans in the future, mine is all blank like a blackout vision ahead.
And I lost my interest to do everything. No draw, no music, no books, no foreign language studies, nothing.
Now what am I supposed to do?
Tittle: 花言葉 / HANAKOTOBA
Written By: Me
It’s already April isn’t it? The time of spring where the flowers are blooming
And the sunlight creates a new sparkling shades through the trees and leaves
Your voice and your smile always always
Be the one that I want to hear and see everyday
The flower languange is blooming, let me passed this to you
Just tell me, if you know the meaning behind of it
Being closer is somewhat strange and wonderful, but I know I’m only a coward
So please answer me, answer the meaning behind my flowers.
The transition is not really good. When I stop excite for my birthday even forgot about it the whole day and before. Not having any festive feeling and feel gloomy almost all the time.
Now I know what it feels like to be adults.
Welcome forever 21, please be nice.
PS: This is my perfect song of the day, the pathetic one.