My Chaotic Philosophy


IMG_20150509_072506Though I usually enjoyed read one’s life updates on their blog, I know it’s pretty boring for some people, but yeah I’ll write it anyway. It’s my blog anyway ehehehe

Yesterday I was done the pre-symposium of my final paper project. Yet it turns out perfect (Alhamdulillah…) still it was a hectic day that I don’t even has single time to eat and I got a terrible headache from then still now and my health just dropped so I have to get my full bed rest (again).

I met my seniors yesterday, they have been an alumnus and we talked alot mainly about future and career. Everytime we talked about what we supposed to be when we graduated, my heart aches all the time. A bitter smile that I can’t hide, that anyone could read instantly. Feels like I want to scream to anyone, to blame everything.

I’m such a pathetic one to said that I already has a clear goals, tho it’s like a mess in my head when I wondering where exactly I headed to.

Then I talked to my junior who knows pretty well about my struggle and she said, “If you has graduated in the near future and you don’t chase your REAL dream, then I will be so mad at you.”

It just a simple conversation and words she used, but I don’t know why it makes me think a lot. It’s makes me realized that chase my own goal is totally not a wrong thing. It just natural, because human born different and has a different path yet different destination every each other. It called destiny.

I don’t know where I have to go, but I have plenty of plans.

I don’t know would it works or no, but I have no other choice instead try.

Life sometimes about all pain and struggle. It’s hard, I won’t lie. But to be surrender it’s not even a choice for me, and supposedly, for us.


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