My Blabber Side · My Chaotic Philosophy

For Life, Choose One That Matter The Most


I came home with such a frustration. I threw away my stilettos, yes that pretty killer (in a literal way) stilettos that broke both of my banks and feet. I started rambling the kitchen, ‘I need coffee’ I said to myself. I need coffee as if I need drugs.

A little teaspoon of sugar, because I still have trauma with my father’s diabetic issue. A perfect pour of hot water. Okay, I got it. Then I brought myself up to the second stair, right into my room. Threw my bag to the corner, change my clothes into the comfort one, and boomed my room with ALL TIME LOW album. ‘Don’t Panic’, the tittle is.

As I fell to the floor and sipped my coffee, I started crying. I consumed so bad that day. It was so many people before, I had to deal with so many talks and eyes and feet that clacked the soft rug beneath me. It was a worst feeling.

But no, that’s not actually the worst, I realized.

People said that Graduation is such a merry happiness. It was all about perfect makeup, photographs, caps, flowers, doll gifts and tons of people say congrats to you. They say it was about celebration. I agree, but also disagree.

It’s true that my makeup was perfect, and my gown, and my stilettos too (except the fact that it killed my feet). I was so proud. So happy. So merry, so joyful. But deep inside I was so scared to death. The fact that I will go to the ‘real’ world, that I don’t ever wanted is killing me. Graduation means facing the new world. But for me, not that way. Not that world.

The red rose that was hand over by my junior, with a pink envelope and note in heart shape said “Happy Graduation.” It was so sweet of her. But apparently, I’m not happy.

I cried hard. My merry feeling went up to the sky, gone. I unactivated my phone, because I couldn’t handle too many social response that time. I torn, buried myself in the corner of my room. No matter how chessy it sounds.

Fast forward, two weeks later, so many of them got accepted by many related companies and starting their own real life. It was so cool of them. I nearly felt envious and jealous and about to lower my pride and started apply too. I want to get the best, like Hanah Montana said, “The Best for Both Worlds”. I wanted this, I wanted that. I wanted to get everything, I was about to be greedily blind.

But it’s about be genuine. I. You. We. Us. Everything in different shapes, comes with different manner. I realized. Let’s start talking about the right proportion, in the most realistic way.

‘If you try to sit on two chairs, you will fall between them. For life, you must choose one chair.’

It slap me, right on the face. Then I decided. I couldn’t get everything. Because we don’t mean to get everything in life. You have to sacrifice, in the most genuine manner to your heart.

My Blabber Side · My Chaotic Philosophy

Embrace The ‘Healthier’ Life

By writing ‘Healthier’ here, no no, I don’t mean eat greens and be vegetarian or by any means of phrase “Healthy Life’ mostly people relating to. It just something, simple things, rather too simple that we somehow can’t figure it out. In this rapid globalization and techno expansion I just found out that we somehow gain so many things, and losing another as well. So before the society became too cyber either too sick, there are maybe some lifehacks to balance it, and feel free to discover your own!

1. Read Something that isn’t in Your Screen, Regularly
I used to be a bookworm since I was a little girl, I read every day and everything, a book, a novel, a manga, newspaper, magazines, tabloid, name it! I read three books in a months in my most average rate and in my prime condition, I even can finish 500 pages novel just in half-day. My reading speed was so whimsical.

But since my college and organization madness peak about one year ago began, I tend to didn’t had any time to read. Then I discovered digital media and used it often since then, quite too often maybe. There’s no more book review in my blog starting lately this year, so you can see the evidence clearly. I haven’t read anything, at least not properly.

The words are neither too deep nor too long in social medias, even in a blog. No one can beat the wordplay of a book can do. So, now I found my capability of reading decreased drastically. However, being a good reader is so important for our life. Reading increasing our understanding. Towards either human and environment. It also gain our patience and how to control our pace. As I said earlier, digital life we live nowadays growing so fast, sometimes too fast that it so easy for us to be frustrated and consumed.

Reading is the great alternative to neutralized it, some kind of therapy, in a easiest and cheapest way. So once in a while, log out your social media accs, turn off your phone, grab a book, and read it. Maybe with a nice cup of hot chocolate beside. Perfect.

2. Write Something Everyday

It’s shame, but since I have no classes anymore (I graduated last month) I never actually write in a paper. I TEXT and TYPE, but not WRITE. And once I had to write, I found my fingers stiff and my hand-writings comes out looking so clumsy. SHAME.

So before this happen with you (or maybe you have?) just stash your keypad or keyboard and writing with a pen and paper by your hand REGULARLY.

3. Walk More Often

Ever since I have my motorbike, I rarely walk. Seriously. Even in a short trip to the convenient store nearby which is just few hundreds meter. Then lately I found that I tired easily, I’m not energized like I used to be. I’m not used to walk anymore, so starts then I have to change my habit. If the distance allow me to, I tend to walk. I walk more. Kind of hard actually but it bring much more good advantages, trust me.

So, walk. Whether it’s a motorbike or car or helicopter you own, don’t be a spoilt kid. Use your feet.

My Blabber Side · My Photography Junkie

Recently I:

  • I addicted to: SMOOTHIE!!

Especially apple-banana-combine-with-everything smoothies! Yummy!

  • Looking for A Job

A great full-time job related to e-commerce bussiness would be nice! (Especially the one which related to fashion, makeup, lifestyle, and homeliving)

  • Addicted to Death Note Live Action Drama!

Though it has a different characterizing of the characters than the movies and anime did, different plot and execution twists and all, it’s truly RECOMMENDED! Please watch it!

  • Digging Over Matcha Latte

Because, WHY NOT?

  • Learning Various Foreign Languages

Or so I thought I would. Demanding myself to learn Japanese, Germany and polishing my English in the same time, scheduled in a week but end up in a most EPIC fails. Poor me ha-ha-hah.

Extra: Anyway my phone is dead and I dying of taking photos and play with camera. So here I am, opening my old folders and uploading my old picture. Pity, I know.