My Blabber Side · My Chaotic Philosophy

Hormonal Turbulence

“Oh gosh, why it have to be rain right in my lowest state of mind tonight?”

“You said you never hating rain?”

“I currently hating everything.”

“Why are you seems so feed up, darling?”

“Know what? I currently asking and begging so many things to God. Too much, that seems like I messing with His life”

“Like what?”

“I just kept asking Him why He seems like playing my life yet everyone claimed that He loves me. God loves all of His creatures and treat them with undefeatable affection, they say.”

“You say you believe in God yet you kept asking His way to love you. Everyone has a different and slightly eccentrical way to show their affection, I guess. And if it’s God, then we have no choice.”

“Exactly. We never have a choice. In fact.” I grunt.

“So what’s wrong?”

“Everything!”

“Give me example.”

“He always take my beloved one out of me. He cheat on all my hard hard works. He makes me have to do everything and anything all alone. He make me feel left and unwanted. He doesn’t treat every human in the world equally the same. I feel so consumed. I know He care, but why He always makes me go through this hard way. For many years, no one knows exactly how hard I struggled yet it seems like not enough for Him! Can you believe it? What else should I do to please Him?”

“Whoa, careful of what you thinking, Darling. I guess we doesn’t have to continue this talk.”

“Another avoidance that I’m so tired of.”

“You know, I think you are just tired. Physically as human and psychologically as an introvert.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

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