Either he is the one who lucky, or I am the one who lucky.
I guess both of us are lucky.
Because we stumbled on each other.
Just watched one of the most whimsical and delicate music videos I’ve ever seen in my live. It represent how I think the Wonderland supposed to be, if it’s ever exist.
The characters, the acts, the costumes, the makeups, the slow-motion effects, the color filters, and many more. Everything just.so.beautiful.
I think I’m in love.
How much mistakes needed until one can get it right?
How much tears needed until one can get the smile?
How much pains needed until one can get a victory?
How much scars needed until one deserve true love?
How much lies needed until one can stay on honesty?
How much jealous needed until one can be at peace?
How much insecurities needed until one can stand proudly?
How much sleepless nights needed until one can have a rest safe and sound?
How much sacrifices do we need?
To be alive.
To feel loved.
To be accepted.
To feel recognized.
To be happy.
To feel like we belong to something.
After all this time, how much sacrifices do we need?
And when will it reach to the end?
Sometimes I think,
if You want to take my life, please do it right now.
Before I become someone who has other lives depending on me. Before I become someone whom other people feel hard to let go.
Because, afterall, You make it’s hard for me to living my life these days. Also You almost took my live away several times this week.
Because, afterall, me right now has never found someone or somewhere I belong. So it will be easier for everyone, don’t You think, Allah?
I’ve been longing the ray of the morning sun.
I’ve been craving for the fragrance of morning tea.
I’ve been missing the voice of Frank Sinatra.
I’ve been waiting everyday to wake up to a content and joyful feeling.
I forgot how it was like to live in a safe and steady state of life.
I can’t remember when was my last time spending time in my balcony, barefeet, Wearing a thin and sheer sleeping gown, naked shoulder, feeling cold yet full of life, waiting for the sun to rise, grasping my camera, capturing the ethereal moment of light embarking the dark.
I want to feel alive.
With a soft morning sun licking my neck,
morning breeze cuddling my arms,
and retro voice of Nat King Cole caressing the atmosphere,
gently and bubbly.
I’ve been wanting to have this feeling once again.