My BEM-J SIde · My Blabber Side

The Darker Side of the Life

It was a hard, hard tiring week. Really. Too hard that I wonder how I passed it alive. It’s magic.

And before I know, everything would be over soon. No, I’m not talking about the year. Yeah, current year will be over soon too, but I’m talking about my real life. some phase that I’m used will be over just in, maybe, a few days, or few weeks, but soon it will be.

I will face my final paper soon by the early of next year and our period of campus organization will end just a few days later, and I feel like “Oh, finally, finally…” but in the same time, I’m scared. Too scared of everything I really sure before wouldn’t mean to be. I’m scared I’ve changed too much. I’m scared I’m not made up my mind. I’m scared that I’m… lost.

Tell me the truth, am I just suffer an anxiety disorder?

By the way, starting tommorow, I have to go on an anual 3-nights-sleepover event in Puncak with BEM-J and DPM-J mates. Yep, I feel worst almost all the time, I think I really need vacation. Guess what, I will bring my Le Rossignol too ♥

My Artist Side · My BEM-J SIde


Yesterday BEM-J (campus council? student council? campus organization? student organization? If you know the proper way to say it, please tell me then) held a factory trip event. We visited Yakult and Pocari Sweat factory. And yes, it was a great day with the event went well and smooth. Too bad I’m not the documentation crew so I didn’t had chance to use the camera too often 😦









PS: All photos taken by me so FULL CREDITS would be nice!

My BEM-J SIde · My Blabber Side · My Chaotic Philosophy

To Be A Good Leader

It written on my ‘One Hundred Hope’ list, one year ago but still fresh on my mind as if it just written today:

Number 70: BE A GOOD LEADER.

And just a few month ago I chosen as a Project Leader of the biggest event on the campus council. At first, I felt like spechless whether I could fulfill their expectations or not. Sometimes being trusted is both nice and frighten, believe it? But I learnt that God always had hudreds even millions unpredictable ways to come true our wishes.

And one more that I learnt. To be a good leader, it’s not about those cliche-but-true like being firm, discipline, fast-thinker, choice-maker, sort of things. It’s about how we build the bond with our fellows. The emotional bonds. I often sending an encourage messages to my event coordinators after asking their progress, I let them ask and say anything in their mind related to the matters, I ask how was their day, whether the lecture goes smooth or not, I give them my trust to the max point, simply I tried to be so close with them that they won’t treat me as just their leader, but their close friend or even their older sister. And they become so cooperative! They do every tasks and duties soooo effectively, and when I was down by my throat-inflammatory sickness but I had to held a coordinators meeting, they become so helpful and give anything that we need so the meeting goes smooth!

I don’t intend to boast myself, I just think that’s the main point that our leaders had to realize. Being leader is not about theoretical value of authority, but it’s about how to build emotional bond with the fellows. By exchanging the trust, the leader and his/her fellows could not be a band of people but a great team!

My BEM-J SIde · My Blabber Side · My Writer Side

Life Saver

Anyway, amid my meeting-after-meeting-after-meeting rush as a part of campus council (which I enjoyed far more than my duties as a chem and pharmacy student), grateful for given chance to becoming myself by doing what I want to do at least once per week. Like foolhardy book hunting. Now that I’ve been run out the place to put my books on, thanks to my bibliophyl disease for I bought even more.


‘ve been craving for The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown after watching Angels and Demons. Thus (un)lucky me to find second series of Wicked to buy right away, and able to hold myself on buying the third series of it (Saved for the next month, suggest?).

My Artist Side · My BEM-J SIde · My Blabber Side

Dreaming Happy Life

I’ve had much much much much happiness todaaay!!!

In the morning I have to attend talkshow in Mayapada Hospital. It such a great time!! First, because the place is so amazing (first time of my life come to such hospital like that OMG) and I feel like kinda ‘upgraded’ because many experiences we got there. Second, because I met my high school friend there (she’s so cute as always!) and we were chit-chatting and take photo! Third, because I had a great quality time with BEM-J members! (Thanks guys! You are the BEST!!)

Guess which girl am I? Heheheh...
Guess which girl am I? Heheheh…

Second, back from there I decided to go to mall. Well, usually I don’t like malls actually. But don’t know why my feet got me there, and yes, by myself. I always love hanging around by myself because it feels so free! I went to any store as I pleased. I checked the CD store, shoes store, make up & drugs store, accessory & fancy store, and, (of course by any chance) bookstore.

Aaaaand guess what’s in the bookstore? There are k-pop dance battle competition!!!! I always enjoyed dancing as I enjoyed other kinds of art. And seeing them, in キラキラ and unique costumes along with full make up on, dance follow the music, suddenly I just want to burst out of laugh and happiness!! Always always always felt like that if I seeing a moment when people could do what they passionated for independently. Not every people could do what they want to do, you know? So if I seeing somebody doing their passion and interest with full of love and dedication, whatever it is (as long as it’s positive things) simply I burst in happiness too. And for that dancers, they love dancing, sure! I could feel that! So although they seems so shy, I could feeling they’re happy and glad, thus it make me excited too!

And before I back home, there’s a stage in hall (which I don’t notice earlier) and there’s a guy playing some woodwind instruments there! All songs he played flow serenely that make me almost burst out in tears of happiness and joy. I got the flyer about him. Check him out if you please, here! I guaranteed he is soooo good!

So in way back home I think about what is it to be living in happiness. Many people searching hard to get happiness of life. That sometimes in return they couldn’t got the happiness they search but got endless sorrow instead. But actually, there’s a simple thing to be happy. A simplest thing that we already had without we have to search anywhere.

Just be grateful for what you’ve got, and searching for what you haven’t got with sincerity.
Your God knows what the best for you, He had giving you the best, and He will always give you the best.

Thanks for this day Ya Allah. I feel so blessed…

PS: DOMINO! Currently addicted to their songs and listened it all NONSTOP!


My BEM-J SIde · My Blabber Side · My Fangirl Side


Finally! ALL of my exams of-fi-ci-a-lly done todaay!! Now my holidays officially begin!! But, well, too bad to not being in 1st and 2nd semester anymore because started from 3rd semester, it would take two and more whole months for the exams and if that’s all over, the campus day already begin whether we ready or not yet.

What I wanna say is, I officially don’t have holiday! The exams finish today in 19th Feb and the next semester already start on 24th Feb! It means, *CountingMyFingers* there’s only Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday more to rest. But I have to do some BEM business in Fri and Sat so I only own TWO days to rest! Oh, it’s soooooo good to be a busy person! Yaaaay!!! *SarcasmTone* =I


Let’s move from my rest-day-supossed-to-be topic, I promised myself to open my CD package after I finish the whole exams, so it means today!!

Here! Here! Take a look!!!

This is how the package look like when I opened it. Guess what? I got the limited poster bonus!! YAYNESS!!
This is how the package look like when I opened it. Guess what? I got the limited poster bonus!! YAYNESS!!
The appearance of three bundle of CD, DVD, and Photo Booklet.
The appearance of three bundle of CD, DVD, and Photobook.
My first official NICO poster!! Kinda don't like the paper because it's kinda stiff and don't have plastic film so very risky and easily torn
My first official NICO poster!! Kinda don’t like the paper because it’s kinda stiff and don’t have plastic film so very risky and easily torn
The side appearance of CD, DVD & Photobook bundle
The side appearance of CD, DVD & Photobook bundle


Limited DVD case
Limited DVD case
Limited Photo Booklet
Limited Photobook
Limited CD case
Limited CD case

Dear, Mr. Mitsumura, don’t you know you just make me feel…….. *speechless in love*

PS: Super sorry for the low quality photos 😦

My BEM-J SIde · My Blabber Side

Well Balance

Errr…. This??


Hoho, I mean well balance, not New Balance :p

Sorry for not posting anything these days. Wake up in dark morning, then go to the college, study until 3 PM and do this and that in the student organization until 8 PM and arrive home very late and still have to make the assignments and study for the sudden quiz and chemical practice tommorow, phew, I just don’t have proper energy to open the laptop…

In addition, my college would celebrate Dies Natalis and altough we had a permition from the lecturer and the dean, we have to prepare and make everything all by ourself. From the smallest part into the bigger one, so everyone in the organization is obviously buuuuuuussssy! I’m part of Program Section so, well, my life is really at rush.

My college is type of college that the students always bring home mountains of material to be memorized, books to be learnt, chemical practices report to be written, and many things more that you can’t have a proper sleeptime in the night. And it’s so hard to do even without joining the student organization where you have to sacrificing time and brain and energy and many things.

But hey, I just realize now that I do it both good! My assignments done like what it have to be, and I do well in the organization too! Not to proud myself, I just surprised by how big human’s power to do what they want to do. Sometimes if you think “No, no, I can’t do this.” You just have to go through it then you’ll be surprised by how well you done it already!

You’re strong, no matter what.
Even that sometimes you’re crying and whinning and feel like everything is enough. That just a short ‘pause’ of your life before you press the ‘play’ button and live you life better than before.

Being balanced is hard too. But this is the way: Do everything in the right time.
Do what you have to do, do what you want to do, but everything has it’s time, so your task is just place it on it’s time.