“I’m really really really a showbiz person, you know, Lad?!”, she said that day. On the late afternoon of 24 December at our office room in 2016, where it was just the two of us (everybody else is out on their meetings), wrapping presents for office’s Secret Santa event that will be held on the evening.
She blurted that out when we’re talking about career, life projections, goals, and something like that. I know, such a high quality topic amidst pile of glittery wrapping paper and clear tapes on our fingers, right?
Actually, I didn’t (and still don’t) know what she means with ‘showbiz person’. What’s showbiz means anyway? But she likes modelling and acting and that kind of stuff so I assume showbiz means something to do with spotlights, costumes, script-reading, acting, and light-camera-action. Am I even close to it? No? Okay.
As much as I held myself not to ask her what showbiz means (because sometimes I’m a stupid potato and prone to embarassed myself), I already familiar with the feeling underneath her words. It felt like I can already hear she went on “I don’t care about going to the same place from Monday all the way though Friday, from nine to five, doing the same thing, meeting the same people, deal with the same bullshit—“ and on and on. Yeah, I’m extremely familiar with that.
“When I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a news anchor! They sounds really cool and bonafide and all!” She continued with the same sparkle in her eyes. Ugh, so bright. Despite that she is a pretty humanbeing that sure will makes every male bend their knees to her instantly, people will always look more attractive when they’re talk honest about things they love. So for her case, the brightness level is doubled up. Like a venus with gold halo up on her head. Don’t look at her, you’ll be blind.
About things that we talked about later, I don’t remember. I believe it included some office gossips, or which presents box that we targetted on or whether I’ve ever smoke or drink alcohol (just a clarification: I NEVER) or anything else. But she already made clear the reason why she left the office 5 months later (after just working there for 7 months). She wants to chase her passion.
Familiar phrase. Familiar feeling.
Now, nearly eight months later, her face is familiar in youtube cinemascape and indie filmscape. she plays in some mini sitcom by a local magazine, starred in an indie movie, been a model of some local fashion brands, an actress on a local band’s new music video. She nailed it, right in front of everyone’s face.
I still don’t know what’s showbiz means, maybe I’m just too lazy to google an oxford dictionary. But by seeing her, I think now a little bit I know, I can figure it out, finally.
And that’s a story about chasing a passion. Another story about gambling with life and fight for the what one’s believe. A story about pursuing our very, very, true selves of us.