English · My Blabber Side · My Chaotic Philosophy · My Movie Freak Side

#MovieMonday – A Beautiful Mind, and some others.


Rating: 8.2 (IMDb)
Genre: Drama, biography, life
Cast: Russel Crowe (John Nash), Ed Harris (Parcher), Jennifer Connelly (Alicia Nash), Paul Bettany (Charles)
Director: Ron Howard
Music: James Horner
Wardrobe: Rita Ryack
Released: 2001


Just barely finish this movie and I’m still trembling now. Before it begin, let me warn you that I would be spoiling too much here.

I won’t intrinsically review it like any other #MovieMonday post so I’m not considering this as a usual one.  In fact, I shouldn’t write this also, considering thesis study I supposed to do. I mean, look at my dekstop situation: thesis reference on the left and the movie playing on the right, at the same time.


Nevertheless, basically this movie tells about a story of John Nash, a mathematician genius who pursuing his doctoral study in Princeton University and seems to outcast himself.



His eccentrically and peculiar behaviour and mind lead him to an acute schizophrenia where he starts delusioning about being State’s secret cryptography agents and imaginary people appears.


This is not a thriller or horror movie, but for me, it’s terribly frightening, because what happened to John Nash, I’ve encountering that too. And this is the main reason why I write this post. A schizophrenic delusions of people who are not exist? I scored that.

Have I told you I have so many imaginary friends? Or in my case, I called them guardian angels? Yes. I’ve wrote in my last year’s birthday note here.

John Nash has two imaginary friends: Charles and her niece, Marcee. And a so-called imaginary colleague agent: Parcher. While I have six. The first one I ‘met’ in junior high school time, where I experienced a not-a-bullied bullying (you maybe confused but yeah, that was happened and I dont wanna talk about it). Hence as years passed by, life becomes hard and shit happens and before I realize, they grow outnumbered. Some was born in my loneliness, some in my hatred and sadness, some other in my lowest and rock bottom conditions. One of them is a wolf named Pandemonium, and one of them is Sora, from Kingdom Hearts game.

My resemblance with John’s circumstances is what makes me trembling. The only fortune I have, is I know what I’m thinking is not real. I talk to them, they talk back to me in my head, we’re interact so much almost everyday, especially when the times get hard and I started to encountered a severe anxiety or a minor frustration. But I know they are not real. While John cannot differ which is reality and which is delusion. But knowing there’s apparently a possibility schizophrenia can grows into that acute state, it terrifies me.



The fact that I feel connected to the relationship of Charles and John since the very first time is also plays a big role. Even before I knew Charles is an imagination. I’m familiar with the feeling of someone who always attached with, supports, and emotionally protecting you in so many ways on so many levels in life, more than parents, or lover, or best friend can do. Because that’s whats my guardian angels doing to me, every time.

45But what makes this story beautiful is John tries to heal himself and people start recognizes his lifetime hardwork in mathematics and a Nobel Prize landed in his crown. I’m not usually cries for movies, but I cried on this part. Hahah


This is actually the first time ever I opened up and being honest about it. Why it has to be here instead of my diary or private notes, I don’t know. Maybe because this blog plays a lot on my growing phase and personal well-being? And tho I state my blog address in all of my social medias, I always think my real friends better not read this blog at all because this is my personal space, my sanctuary (in fact, I always wishing that none of my real friends ever click on my blog because therefore they would know that they’re befriends with a person with uneven mentality like me).

But anyway, to be honest, it such a beautiful film with a beautiful story (unless you encountered the similar imaginary life, then you might be find it slightly terrifying).

It just brought me to thinking, if I know that my circumstances is merely an imagination and they are just a delusional objects, would it makes me categorized as a schizoid too? I’m still talking to the air, almost everyday, is that it means I suffer a schizophrenia, eventho I still aware of which is real and which is not? Or am I just a completely normal person searching for an escape? And they are my objects to escape into?


English · My Movie Freak Side

#MovieMonday – Anna Karenina


Rating: 6.6/10.0 (IMDb)
Genre: Romance, drama
Cast: Keira Knightley (Anna Karenina), Jude Law (Alexi Karenin), Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Alexei Vronsky)
Director: Joe Wright
Music: Dario Marianelli
Wardrobe: Jacqueline Durran
: 2012



Truth to be told, I’m not really excited writing this review.

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Who doesn’t know Anna Karenina? A fenomenal, both well-known and notorious novel by Leo Tolstoy. To be brief, Anna Karenina tells the story about Anna, a beautiful woman in high society of Russia who had almost everything: wealth, husband whose important position in goverment, handsome son, social status, beautiful dresses (the last one is so important) but later would give up everything in order of her passionate love towards Alexei Vronsky that lead them into scandalous relationship which later would break their life.

I’ve never been read the novel by Tolstoy so I don’t have any idea of what Anna Karenina would be like. This seems led me to awed by the techniques used in the beginning of the film that reminds me of Tales of Hoffman somehow. It setted on an opera stage, like, literally. Wright use a large opera stage as his main stage, hence we can see the backdrop rolled as the setting changes, the set officers slash extras and stunts swinging around everywhere in the hassle to put the proper equipments, even the backstage mechanicals used as a good metaphorical setting.

Sadly this whole coolness faded away just like that in a few minutes as if the sets officers and director Wright himself grown tired already and decide to stop. In a few minutes, we’ll just merely watching a common romance movie. No special effects of (back)stages process anymore.

About the casts itself, I’m not really sure. I never read to book or the book review thus I can’t easily judge whether they play it right or not. Nonetheless, the characters itself far less than stunning or remarkable. In the contrary of that, they seems artificial and unsymphateticable. All they leave me with as the story goes to an end is just a flat, lack of depth feeling, an expressionless face staring at credit screen backsounded by an ending score.

Speaking about the music score, is it just me who feel they are tedious and unstriking?



If Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina truly that great, I can’t see it here in screen. Maybe it’s too hard to catch up one of world’s most legendary and complicated literature piece.

Note to self, I have to read the actual book.

English · My Blabber Side · My Movie Freak Side

#MovieMonday – Stoker (2013)


Rating: 6.8 (IMDb)
Genre: Thriller, drama
Cast: Mia Wasikowska (India Stoker), Matthew Goode (Charlie Stoker), Nicole Kindman (Evie Stoker)
Director: Park Chan-Wook
Music: Clint Mansell
Wardrobe: Kurt and Bart
: 2013


Finally a first edition of #MovieMonday tag that I planned to be one of regular review tag project every Monday!

Truth to be told, when I wrote my last #CurrentObsession post (the one that involved several titles of movie) I had been watched this film for, like, three times, and still can’t get enough with this.

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Stoker basically is a bewitching grotesque movie that is nowhere near your common thriller movies. Stoker doesn’t involved any ghosts or spiritual appearances or vampire and any other kinds of blood-sucker creatures, as first I though it named after Bram Stoker and the story would swirling around another version of Count Dracul. Apparently I was wrong.

A little synopsis before the review, the story goes after India Stoker, an innocent young woman whose beloved father died in an unknown accident, right in her 18th birthday, leave her live only with her estranged-yet-miserable mother, in a such a fine house in a forest-y desolated landscape. A long-unknown man acclaimed as her uncle come in her father’s funeral day and since then, this movie plays a triangle between Evie the mum, Charlie the uncle, and India the child/niece.

If I could describe the three things that draws this movie well, I’ll pick up 60’s velvet vintage dress, indigo baroque wallpapers, and vintage rolleiflex TLR camera, because those are what this movie tastes like.

It frames victorian-styled family in the middle of modern life of 18 century with all of their oddness and melanchony. The setting is gorgeous and the wardrobes ellegantly potrays a fine family that seems not willing to dip the same stream with normality around them.

Stoker movie goes not in a packs of antagonists versus protagonists type. Instead it sets unbalanced grey characters that swinging easily in unpredictable ways. The director successfully linger every one of each character’s emotions as well as spectrum of tensions captured in a deep and psychotic behaviours.

The casts embrace the film really well, I think. Mia Wasikowska fairly potray a vulnerable yet anomalish 18-years old girl that have an abnormal ability of senses, Nicole Kindman playing a bitchy-lavish-lonely woman that crawling her own existence upon her daughter disapproval, and Matthew Goode grab the attention as a misteriously charming uncle with a maniac and possesively psychotic persona underneath.

Not to mention the music score is captivating in every frame and automatically being the most supportive element of tension building itself.

I won’t say this is perfect or masterpiece, beside that I’m not really capable to write a valid review, also because the film opened by India stating her ability of sensing every each smallest details of what people are not capable to sense. But let alone that statement in the face only because it’s not explored as well as she supposed to be.

And the fact that character by character could be vanished easily to give the main hero and heroines spaces to form a big triangle, as if the audiences will not overthinking this as a plot hole, is kind of resentful.

But above all, psychological thriller is my thing and I thought this is one of a few that caught my attention as a movie.


‘ve said that music score for this is depressingly beautiful, so for one whole week, this song is played in my ears over and over again countless time, even when I write this review. Don’t know if it’s your thing, but I though you have to listen this too, it’s hauntingly addictive

English · My Blabber Side · My Movie Freak Side

#CurrentObsession: Movies!


I hate go to movies. Not that I go there often (in fact, maybe you’ll never find me there because I most probably go to movies merely twice a year in average, never more), but I just really.really.really hate the feeling of gigantic screen pressing out the air from your chest and the audio bursting your ears and so on. Basically because I’m a minor claustrophobic, I think :\

So in return, I opt for streaming or downloading instead! (I’m sorry, dear piracy, but I just cannot 😦 ) And this is what’s in my watchlist:

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1. Stoker


2. Pride & Prejudice


3. Gone Girl


4. Train to Busan


5. The Duchess


6. The Awakening


7. That Evening Sun


8. Anna Karenina


9. Jane Eyre


10. Map to The Stars


11. ….And many more!

A lot of Mia Wasikowska’s movie, I know. She is so impressing in every characters she played, that’s why! And some of them are Keira Knightley which I abruptly dislike in person, but what to say if she starred all the classical movies I intent to watch?

Currently thinking to make a new hashtag project for those movies matters only. Please expect a  not-professional like me blabbering around about some tittles for some weeks ahead.


The problem: I don’t have THAT much time.