I’ve been longing the ray of the morning sun.
I’ve been craving for the fragrance of morning tea.
I’ve been missing the voice of Frank Sinatra.
I’ve been waiting everyday to wake up to a content and joyful feeling.
I forgot how it was like to live in a safe and steady state of life.
I can’t remember when was my last time spending time in my balcony, barefeet, Wearing a thin and sheer sleeping gown, naked shoulder, feeling cold yet full of life, waiting for the sun to rise, grasping my camera, capturing the ethereal moment of light embarking the dark.
I want to feel alive.
With a soft morning sun licking my neck,
morning breeze cuddling my arms,
and retro voice of Nat King Cole caressing the atmosphere,
gently and bubbly.
I’ve been wanting to have this feeling once again.
I’ve been cheating the day. I should post this yesterday but all kind of social life faint me down and didn’t have that much energy, so, yeah.
If you think the closest person to you would never bring you down, PFFFTTTT–TALK TO MY HANDS. When I saw a contempt eyes that looking at me from my closest one (hint: a family) I just thought, Uh-Oh, I forgot we can’t trust human.
That’s all, I guess. I ought to warn you to be careful everytime because you definitely can trust no one. Except your pet cat or dog, I thought they are far more sincere and faithful than any human-being.
But, hey, just a warn though.
So this remarks the end of my people-watching week (which I pretty sure will not going to the end as I’ll continue doing it everyday, minus the report as a daily post).
Blog this from my phone while lying on my bed, too exhausted to open my laptop.
Not a particular person today, but I realized that sometimes if a face stays constantly flat and neutral, it’s either burying numerous secrets inside, or maybe not a single feeling at all.
Because afterall human psychology is not a one-day study (or, in my case, a seven-days study), instead it’s a lifetime study. Because human is as complicated as it is.
Nothing really amusing today except I explored the expressions of lust and flirt. From a random people on the street towards another one or towards me (which is so disgusting, seriously).
Apparently no matter how developed a country and how intelligent the people are, a primitive mind of an animal always stays inside a human. That’s how nature’s works, I believe.
Images credits to: Pexels.com
I never knew before that we can easily find upset and miserable people in mall, a place where it supposedly a happy place, like those executive property developers acclaimed.
And in the groceries there, I met an old woman, maybe 55 to early 60, with a wry face and squinted eyes, walked down the aisle of cleaning fluid by herself, pushed a shopping trolley without anyone else.
At first I thought that face shows pain, which is shocked me. An upset face, it’s quite common since so many people throwing money here in mall when some people don’t like that idea (for example, husbands who accompanying their wife). A doubtful face, so understandable with many people relying their income here to pay their miserable bills. But pain? In the face of an old woman who go shopping by herself? No, there’s must be something wrong with her that must be anticipated.
Feeling intrigued, I left my mother behind (she was too busy paid more attention to the price of cleaning fluids to realized that I’m not by her side anymore) and sneakingly followed her, aisle to aisle. Even to cashier, where I sat on the bench nearby while eyeing on her.
Turns out the face which I mistaken as a pain, is actually a sad face, a deep sadness. A face of sorrow and grief. That squinted eyes? Probably she has myopic eyes. I knew this because my eyes are both myopic and if I don’t wear my glasses on, I have to squint my eyes in order to have clearer sight. She didn’t wear glasses so it supposedly explain it all.
But what about that constant sorrow? It’s haunting me somehow. I nearly bump over her and ask what can I do or how could I help her because she looks so sad. But I may look like a freak stranger and might frightening her as well so I keep my mouth shut and walk in a required distance.
And in the end, I could do nothing more than observe.
Image credits to: Pexels.com
I have a lecturer who appear emotionless. His jokes and sense of humour are the most dying thing in the whole world, his voice tone is like a flat line in heart pacemaker monitor, the one that everyone afraid of. I can’t guess what’s in his mind and yet I still predicting, but before I can scan him (like I able to do that), he gave us—the students—a surprise surprise!
I always wondering whether human can born that way, with flat expression and inability to express emotions. Or it just something that we learnt along the way?
Hence thinking about this, is it so painful to not being able to laugh when we’re happy, cry when we’re sad, get mad when we’re angry, thrilled when we’re afraid, scream when we’re surprised? Eventhough it can be overwhelming sometimes, they are all precious feelings, aren’t they?
Going out of home and meeting people becoming so fun since I started doing this.