My Blabber Side · My Chaotic Philosophy

Hormonal Turbulence

“Oh gosh, why it have to be rain right in my lowest state of mind tonight?”

“You said you never hating rain?”

“I currently hating everything.”

“Why are you seems so feed up, darling?”

“Know what? I currently asking and begging so many things to God. Too much, that seems like I messing with His life”

“Like what?”

“I just kept asking Him why He seems like playing my life yet everyone claimed that He loves me. God loves all of His creatures and treat them with undefeatable affection, they say.”

“You say you believe in God yet you kept asking His way to love you. Everyone has a different and slightly eccentrical way to show their affection, I guess. And if it’s God, then we have no choice.”

“Exactly. We never have a choice. In fact.” I grunt.

“So what’s wrong?”


“Give me example.”

“He always take my beloved one out of me. He cheat on all my hard hard works. He makes me have to do everything and anything all alone. He make me feel left and unwanted. He doesn’t treat every human in the world equally the same. I feel so consumed. I know He care, but why He always makes me go through this hard way. For many years, no one knows exactly how hard I struggled yet it seems like not enough for Him! Can you believe it? What else should I do to please Him?”

“Whoa, careful of what you thinking, Darling. I guess we doesn’t have to continue this talk.”

“Another avoidance that I’m so tired of.”

“You know, I think you are just tired. Physically as human and psychologically as an introvert.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

My Blabber Side

Gloomy Sunday is My Favorite Kind of Sunday

I slept in the late of 3.00 AM today and it was raining so hard. Then I wake up in the late of noon and it still raining. I can’t even express how pleased I am, despite that I have class this afternoon.

I think I’m gonna make some pancakes for the (extremely) late breakfast, before going out for the class. I’m craving for pancakes.

Anyway, currently learning the bass part of this:

using my guitar, as always, and I think I should buy a new one because it’s broken already and sounds so wrong now and I’m in dilemma whether I should buy a nylon or steel one.

Suggests, anyone?

My Chaotic Philosophy

3 Things I can’t Understand:

1. Why politicians wants to be politician?

I mean if the only thing you do everyday just debating and criticizing each other, then where’s the fun anyway?

2. Why there’s people on earth still willing to read Marie Claire, Harper Bazaar, Vanity Fair, etc?

While all I can see inside are just luxury things and people who brag about it.

Go on, people, bash me.

3. How could someone be a strict vegan?

I’ve tried, but it ends up with an epic fail. I’m naturally carnivore.


I miss drawing.

Music · My Blabber Side · My Music Geek Side

Another Kind of Healing

I have this habit to listen Linkin Park while I feeling pressured. It’s not a straight remedy like those mental helpers–or Diazepams–does (do they really?). But Linkin Park has statement lyrics of many psychotic feelings, and I think, compared to the mental helpers, that kind of same. I mean, psychiatrists are expensive. And Diazepam is… Continue reading Another Kind of Healing